American Wedding

Did someone say wedding? Few things in this hard-knock life are more exciting than weddings. I can think of only two -- finding money in an old jacket pocket and free burritos. So when I found out my own mother was getting remarried the day after Thanksgiving, it was like finding a free burrito in an old jacket pocket. She married a gent from the local rowing club where they watched their daughters compete against each other for their parents' love. I know, it's precious. Here's the lucky couple.


Name: Dick Michelangelo Coveney
Occupation: Entrepreneur / Systems guy
Company: DMC Consulting
Hobbies: boating, thinking, checking items off a list
Favorite color: mauve
Quote: "Write me a list."


Name: Susan Elaine Boldys Weaver Coveney
Occupation: Pathologist, bad-ass mom
Company: Path Labs
Hobbies: gardening, cooking, nurturing
Favorite color: green
Quote: "I packed a ham in your suitcase in case you got hungry."



It was a nice ceremony, if you like that sort of thing. Me? I prefer arranging children and dogs in funny poses and taking pictures of them. May I have this dance?


The highlight of the wedding was easily the All-star clientelle. We had more beasts than an X-men convention. Let's sort the punters from the nunces.

BEAST #4 -- Uncle Mike
Uncle Mike's been hustlin' dames for decades, which is how he landed Aunt Connie. After he broke his back falling off a three-story ladder, he secured his legendary status by buying a motorcycle and getting tatted up like Popeye.



BEAST #3 -- Bryan David Vickers
When Bryan's not knockin' dingers out of the park, he's slingin' em after a hard night of Busch light and Taco Bell.



BEAST #2 -- Zach Attack
Could he be more of a beast? A young Brad Pitt? More like DR. POZ!



BEAST #1 -- Nolan Ryan
DR. POZ part deux!! I told you this was an All-star crew!



Let's see those beasts again!





And how do all good weddings end? With jammy time. Yep, jammy time and egg noodles.