Whoa Nelly Furtado!! I have arrived in Californ I. A. to the town with the most ridiculous name this side of Arkadelphia, Arkansas -- Rancho Cucamonga, CA. Out of cat-like curiosity, I looked up the word cucamonga in the dictionary and found one entry: Rancho Cucamonga. But surely it's a Spanish word, right? Surely? Well, I have bad news for you cucamongas, it's complete gibberish! The origin of the word has been traced back to Adam Sandler's 1995 release Billy Madison in which Sandler mumbles "cucamonga shabba-doo" to Frank.
Since I've been here, I have made many new friends. When I moved in to my apartment, the first thing I did was sing Old Time Rock and Roll in my underwear. The second thing I did was go grocery shopping. Like seamen in a storm, I went overboard. By the third to last aisle, my cart was completely full, and I still needed to buy bread, milk and beer. Needless to say, I picked up some delicious treats on the way, like garlic and onion pita chips, two pounds of black forest ham, and a box of honey bunches of oats. When my bill ran over two hundred dollars, I realized that grocery shopping is not all thrifty and fancy-free as advertised. When I returned from my grocery gorge, I met my first friend. She was already in my apartment, sitting quietly on the kitchen countertop. I asked her what her name was and she didn't respond. I asked her how she got in and I got the same blank stare. So I said screw it, I'll call you Sylvia.
It turned out that Sylvia was a mute; she was born without vocal cords. Our communications were mostly one-way for the first few weeks. I could tell she was a sensitive girl by the way she tickled my arm when I spoke to her. She introduced me to Frank and Jimbo, Louisiana and Gorgeous, Tony, Phyllis, Lord Baltimore, Sir Fallister Cramplepants, and Sweet Lou. She asked me if they could come to live with us, and I obliged, so long as they didn't touch my Huey Lewis albums. It was nice to have a support network after a hard day of work. My friends and I had some great times too. One time Sir Fallister Cramplepants lifted four times his bodyweight in breadcrumbs, which called for an immediate celebration. Everything was going great until I woke up one morning to find all of my friends eating my honey bunches of oats without permission. I got upset, doused them in Clorox bathroom cleaner and called the exterminator. Some friends you just can't trust.
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As I recently traveled the Spanish countryside I marveled at the vast number of olive groves, sometimes stretching as far as the brain could comprehend. I shouted with great clarity of mind and equally great vibrance of voice, "Cucamonga!!". Imagine my surprise to find that my well-worn and often used expression of surprise and wonderment was also being used by a city in California! No way! I continue to astound myself and others with the superb ability to bring random cosmic thoughts and relatively unknown earthly places to a convergence in reality. This I offer as proof that the word "Cucamonga" has a definite existence and meaning. Your tracing of the phrase to Adam Sandler shows a recent use of the word, but not its true origin, which I believe was eons ago-used to exprss shock at the size of dinosaur dung.
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