new updates from nate. first the good. both baby and mom are healthy. nate jr's head is temporarily cone shaped as they had to extract the infant from cherry with a matching set of plastic ladles (we knew they'd come in handy for more than ladle ball one of these days). nate received a phone call seconds after the birth and heard his child crying in the background. they will be keeping the after birth on ice so that nate can consume it upon arrival as is customary for truly dedicated fathers.
and now the bad news. bridget rumor has it that nate jr. looks just like nate. hopefully she was referring to the biceps, jaw, hair and toes. not the hips. definitely not the hips. if so, that means the baby has no torso and half his body weight is in his hips. hopefully the resemblance means that he'll be the designated technical foul shooter and have a father that wins the one mile fun run during the Teens High On Life race.
also circulating from the rumor family is the news that the baby will be named jackson james 'hollywood' weaver. so i'll stop referring to him as nate jr and commence calling him hollywood. he's destined to be a star.
No comments:
Post a Comment