Paging Mr. Amato

Like the fierce mountain winds that ravage Zaragoza, John Amato swept into town this week. His visits here are always appreciated, as he never fails to raise company morale. Even Silas gets razzed up whe John comes to Goza, and Silas barely cracked a smile when Journey released their limited edition greatest hits collection, "The Essential Journey"!!

Said visit could not have fallen on a more perfect weekend. Our finals knocked us out this week. Seriously, if we were the Fridge, then they were Manute Bol, and everyone knows that Manute Bol pummeled the fridge in possibly the most ridiculous boxing match of all time. After such a beating, we were ready to blow off some steam. I don't want to get sidetracked, but I want to state for the record that Manute Bol is incredible.

John arrived just in time to bowl with us. Yes, they have bowling in Spain, and yes, I wear a size 46 bowling shoe. Spanish bowlers are surprisingly familiar with the game, although I didn't see any leisure suits or flowers inside their bowling balls. The bowling alley was identical to American lanes, complete with buckets of beer and bright orange, six pound balls. The music was straight from America too, only time warped back to 1993. Yeah, I know you'd walk 500 miles... and 500 more... it's farther than that to 2005.

John must have been jealous of my high scores, because later that night , when I jump attacked him, he repelled me into a pond of poo.


On Thursday night, the gang materialized to play poker, sin Jonathan who was touring Valencia with his lovely wife. Jermaine bought a bottle of delicious lizard wine at the chinese store and we had ourselves a fiesta. The Chinese have done it again. Improve fermented rice wine? HOW? Add two whole, gutted lizards, that's how! Of course Jermaine won the poker game, but not because of his poker skill or dumb luck. He was the only person who didn't drink the delicious lizard wine.

Friday night I found the future Mrs. Weaver. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm pretty sure she's in love with me. I actually met her last month at a basement bar in Goza and she remembered me, if only because Americans in basement bars tend to stick out in this city. She speaks some English and her hair is curly. Magic, huh? Now, if I could only remember where that bar is...

Saturday night met all expectations early, when John tried to eat four bombs simultaneously at Executive Dinner. We destroyed the buffet with our American appetites. Our goal was to eat four times more than the average customer, which we achieved after only two hours. John focused his last hour on the desserts and subsequently ate half a tray of bombs; I chose more traditional American foods, like fried anything.

After the buffet, we beat boxed down the main drag in Zaragoza. Silas was Eminem, I was Vanilla Ice.


Eventually, we ran into this French guy. I don't know who he is, but I'll entertain your best guesses.

Alas, all good vacations come to an end, and we had to bid John adieu. Silas was crushed, and he didn't even bat an eyelid when Lou Gramm announced his departure from Foreigner to pursue a solo career. Farewell, master vacationer of the EU, for we in Zaragoza will miss you.